Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Imaginarium of Doctor Drugs

And so they danced in circles all night, absorbed in their own little world of swirling door frames, polka dotted walls, 3-D posters, and forever-lasting cigarettes. Glitter, lights, music, alcohol, weed; everything was in place. Every now and then you'd hear one of them freak out over something. This would be followed by a 10 minute round of coaxing, baking, and youtube-surfing. In this little room, this little nest that they had so lovingly decorated for the perfect time, you would find 5 college kids tripping balls.
I first started experimenting with drugs in September 2010. Back home, they were hardly available at a decent price. Back home, me smoking weed left me with the title Charsi (pothead). You can imagine my surprise when I came to Amherst only to find there were bigger potheads, more drugs, and everyone I knew had already experimented.

Take One:
So I guess when I was asked the question "Do you wanna do molly over the weekend?", I could not resist. Molly (MDMA, purified ecstasy), a drug with the least mind and body effects, is no small deal. It was like losing my virginity all over again. This time I lost it to drugs.
And it was beautiful.
Every single pore of my body seemed to open up to anything I touched. I was in full control of myself, everything was normal. But the second my skin came in contact with something, I wouldn't be able to stop touching it. The five of us, all rolling (effects go up and down like waves, like rolling), ended up sitting in a circle, shirtless, and massaging each other. I can honestly say it was a massaging-making-out orgy. When I walked, I felt like I could walk for hours and never stop. When I talked, I felt smart. My rolling lasted about 3 hours.

Take Two:
The next drug I took was about a month later. Rolls, though another form of MDMA, was nothing like molly. I was expecting the same intensified-touch feeling that I had experienced before. What I ended up getting was my friend's lights dancing out in front of me. The feeling was phenomenal. At one point we were being music-fucked by this one song (Housi - Les Petit Pilous). This was definitely more intense than molly, though nothing I could not handle. Me and my friends walked around, full of energy (and drugs), talked, stroked each other, and smoked pot. This rolling lasted about 4 hours.

Take Three:
Nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared me for what was next. I had seen my friends do it, they had described it to me, it looked amazing. What they failed to emphasize, like reaaalllyyy emphasize, was the dark side of this drug. I had read about all the bad effects, but theory is different from practice. I had an opportunity to do it, me and 2 of my friends jumped right in. On a Monday night, half a month after my experience with rolls, I popped a tab of acid (LSD).
Craziest. Ride. Ever.
Now I'm pretty sure that heroin, cocaine, crack and meth are crazier. And believe me I'm not going anywhere near those. But acid was intense. I can't even begin to describe the effects. I took it at 7:30, in an hour me and my friends were tripping balls. All the still-life posters were suddenly 3-D and moving, I saw faces in paintings, I saw the wood pattern on the door frames moving, I saw colorful lines on people's faces, any spiral pattern would suddenly start spinning, cigarettes never seemed to end. I was ecstatic. I was beyond happy. I was in a world of my own.
And then I started to have a bad trip. Sometime during my trip, I developed a headache that wouldn't go away. The smallest negative thought can trigger a whole downward spiral of nightmares. My thoughts went from the headache, to going to the hospital, to being expelled and deported, to my parents killing me, to going to hell, to never redeeming myself. It was awful. I was freaking out. I didn't know what to do with myself. It was the worse case of helpless despair, hopelessness, and fear that I had ever faced. My sober friends decided I had been out long enough, and stuck me and my other 2 friends in a room. Lights closed, water bottles, cigarettes, TV, music, and people around me that were tripping too. I felt like I was in a cocoon. I never wanted to leave. I started having a good trip again. We watched trippy videos after videos on YouTube, watched 2 movies, and by 7am fell fast asleep. I tripped motherfucking balls for 10 hours straight.

Take Four:
Shrooms. The baby of LSD. January 2011, when people are still (attempting to) stick to their New Years Resolutions, I was busy planning out my next adventure. Icing on the cake was my drug-clean boyfriend Brian, who was spending the weekend with me. I decided what better way to help him break his drug-cherry than make him trip with me? Most. Expensive. Investment. Ever. I had a party in my room and we both took half an eighth, and within half an hour I was tripping. I knew what to expect, I was prepared. I was tripping, I was happy, I was high, I was social. At one point me, Brian and Caleb (who was baked as fuck) decided to watch Of Montreal's music video Wraith Pinned to the Mist. This resulted in all three of us clapping, and screaming in happiness. I actually thought my head would explode, I was that happy. In fact, I liked the trip better than the trip I experienced on acid. I could control it, whereas acid made it extremely difficult to get a grip on negative thoughts. As much as I liked it, I stopped tripping in 2 hours.
That's when Brian started tripping. And he was drunk. Let me just add: drinking when you're on shrooms is fine. Just don't get drunk. I've seen almost all of my friends tripping, but Brian's reaction to the hallucinogen and alcohol combined scared me to no extent. I had to kick everyone out of my room by midnight. Getting Brian in bed was a challenge. Not only was he tripping and caressing my arms telling me how soft I was, he was also drunk and stumbling around trying to avoid me sending him to bed. My efforts were finally achieved by 1am.

My suggestion: don't do LSD/acid until you are absolutely prepared to handle its effects, until you're in a good mood, until you're in comfortable surroundings, until you've experimented with other (less intense) drugs. For my friends and I, weed is hardly a drug. If you do decide to experiment with drugs, keep a supply of weed near you. It really helps.


Anonymous said...

Take 1 and 4 sound like they were the best. You tell it so well, it's fascinating :D

Tinuviel said...

They really were. Even take 2 was. I'm still debating on the 3rd one lol.

Thank you though!

Rahl said...

Oh god. Tony Montana and his legacy.
P.S you might wanna tweak a thing or two of ur blog. the last one was better.

Tinuviel said...

There was a glitch with the last one. It wouldn't let anyone post comments. I'm trying to change it, just don't have the time yet. Thank you though.

Anonymous said...

Who's your dealer? I'm in the five college area and am looking for one since my old one left. help?

(anon for obvious reasons)

Tinuviel said...

I just checked this. If you email me or something, I can get you stuff.

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