Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Update, almost.

My posts have depressing story-lines. Maybe because I write when something is really bothering me. I'll play slow, depressing songs and pour out whatever is in my head. Call it a cure for writer's block, one which I suffered for nearly two years. My old blog just depresses me, so I don't even bother re-reading the posts anymore. Maybe, someday I'll move some of the stuff from there to here.
Question is: should I?
My past was pretty depressing, hard, and angry. I put myself in situations where I could get hurt or ridiculed. I went from being a happy-go-lucky child to a sad adolescent. Sure, I grew out of it. But there's a reason it's the past and maybe I should let the demons sleep peacefully. My old blog is almost like an old wooden box where I stashed all my past, locked it, and hid it away until I grow up.

I don't think you need to know how to write abstractly to be a good writer. Just helping readers walk through your emotions, the scenario, the circumstances is good enough. I try. I've done better many times before, but the circumstances back then were different: I could write. And I could write well. I guess I wrote too much, and I stopped writing then.

Zy. You remind me of the old me. So I won't comment with sad faces or "It will get better". Nothing that fucks up gets better, no way. But there will come a point where it won't matter because you have more (depressing) important things to focus on. And then some time later you'll stop caring about reacting negatively to things because you'll just tire of depression in general.

This post is pretty random. I'm sleep-deprived, depressed, and need something besides parties to happen in my life. I need someone to show me that I can run around in the sun and have fun.

Unfortunately, it's never sunny in Amherst.

3 comments:

Saaleha said...

I like your posts, depressing as they maybe. You write amazingly well. And unfortunately, it's always sunny in Karachi.

nsky said...

i hope you feel better soon. depression doesn't go away easy but, well, writing is a cure. get it all out.

Zy said...

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