Tuesday, March 6, 2012


I've been brought up in an environment where one learns to keep their feelings well hidden in order to best serve people around them. Family, friends, and the like come first before your own happiness and you must sacrifice in order to keep things going at a steady flow. In my house one learns to sit up properly, to use knives and forks the right way, to pass the food and drinks around before you serve yourself, to wear the most sophisticated clothes. Sophistication is a must. No matter what high school clique you belong to, no matter how depressed you are, you must be sophisticated at all times. You must wear pearl studs instead of hip, dangling earrings. You must wear the most elegant of dresses and clothes, regardless of your age. You must be as polite as possible, you must put a smile on your face and answer each question that is asked, instead of asking your own questions. At the end of each meal, you must help put the dishes away whether it is your house or not.
So it comes as a shock to me when people take this kind of upbringing and twist it into what they believe would be better to express to their families. It bothers me that they would think hiding emotion and maintaining an air of elegance would mean being fake and manipulating. I understand that most people prefer being more open and honest about their emotions and feelings. But just because I choose not to put a sign on my forehead displaying what emotion I feel on that day, does not make me any less of a person.
Not a lot of things bother me, but a friend of mine mentioned that his parents think that me being sophisticated is just an act and inside is a dishonest, fake person. I fail to understand how someone can come up with such a detailed and profound (aka judgemental) description of me after having met me only once, and not knowing anything about me.
It's not only me that I am talking about. I've seen a lot of my friends from home get judged by parents in this country just because we have had a more refined, emotionally restrained, social status conscious upbringing. It does not make us any less human, we are still learning to grow as much as any other young adult in this world, and excuse us for being different than your children.
It offends me to no limits how the adults that we are supposed to learn from, teach us to be equally as judgemental and ignorant as them. My advice to them: you want to make harsh, radical theories about the type of people we are? Get to know us first.

My rant for the fucking day.